It was quite a while since my last blog. I just don't know how to start a new. It seems so blurred, my mind was blank but there is something I want to voice out.
I've been writing. I can't stop writing. I don't talk much but i expressed my feelings through writing I feel released out. All inside me.. That is what i've told a fren.. We just write to each other & never meet in reality nor even a voice to hear. But the feelings that we had towards each others were strong. We build up a friendship.. through our deep inflection. We both having deep scars in our life. The stories that we shared, almost the same. It is not easy to build back the love that we lost by infidelity. The scars are too deep to recover.
I've not fully recovered from my misery. Not the matter of love, but its because of the trust. I just couldn't understand why. I keep on asking my self and i couldn't get the exact answer. The only thing in my mind is, this is my fate. Can i just rely on destiny?.. Yes, i 've tried and tried to forget everything. To start a new life doesn't easy at all. Life is not fair.
God is not unfair. He will not forget the work you did or the love you showed for him in the help you gave and are still giving to others.. Only God and me know what I've done. If I had sinned, i ask forgiveness from God. I also want to apologise to anyone for all my mistakes and i had forgiven those who make the same to me.
For some consequences, we just can't accept the facts that we are hurt so much. No matter how much afford we strive, it just doesn't work anyway. The only way, we make our move to different direction and we have to find ourselves. That is what i am doing. Finding myself loved. No matter how love it will takes, I will keep on striving on my own searching for myself loved.
To all, find ourself loved and from there we move on..
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