Deep in My heart

It's Valentine's day today.. I want to wish all happy Valentine's Day.

I'm not going to talk about the Valentine's Day. My mission in life has not been completed yet. I've a goal to make in my life. I don't care about what people said about me. I'm just my self. This is from deep of my heart.

On 28th January, 2011. I've made my journey to a place called " Mount Hosanna Jesus Prayer Chapel ". Located at Sri Aman. It takes 4 hours drive from Kuching. I've been passed by the place so many times and yet i've been called to it.

I've made my prayers. For the whole, as a friend said. Yes, i prayed to all the people that being so precious in my life. I asked nothing but my happiness. I want to keep God and Christ in my heart and my life as a whole. I want to love God, so that I can love & received love from others. I want to do things in sincerely. Not by force.

Make a thing simple as what God's plan..

Ephesians 1:11 - All things are done according to God's plan and decision, and God chose us to be his own people in union with Christ because of his own purpose, based on what he had decided from the very beginning.

In my life, i don't regret at all for what I've done. I've prepared my self from the beginning. It's never been to late to start all over again.

Ephesians 2:1 - In the past you were spiritually dead because of your disobedience and sins. At that time you followed the world's evil way, you disobeyed the ruler of the spiritual powers in the space, the spirit who now controls the people who disobeyed God.

Why must i get angry? I don't hate anyone. But i'm a human beings. Maybe, how i behaved or talked, people make assumption that i hate others. Yet, no one knows how i feel.

Ephesians 4:31-32

Get rid of all bitterness, passion & anger. No more shouting or insults, no more hateful feelings of any sort. Instead, be kind & tender hearted to one another & forgive one another, as God has forgiven you through Christ.

What you give, you get back. What goes around, comes around. That is what people say about me.

Galatians 6:7 - Do not deceived yourselves, no one makes a fool of God. You will reap exactly what you plant.

I've tried my best to understand. What is going on around me. Why i was put into all these. Then i try to figure out the solutions to get out from the darkness.

2 Timothy 1:7 - analyze you fear.

Who says i am not afraid. I am afraid. Fear to fail. But, being a child of God.. i am not scared anymore.

Ephesians 1:5 - God already decided that through Jesus Christ he would make us his children - This was his pleasure and purpose.

As the days of God will come nearer, let us be humble.

Obadiah 15 - The day is near when I, the Lord, will judge all nations. Edom, what you have done will be done to you. You will get back what you have given.

It is very hard to make other people understand how you feel. But, i'm doing the best to be all by myself. As long i am safe, i will be alright. With God's bless, everything will be alright. Amen.

Happy New Year

"The Prayer of Good Person has a Powerful Effect"

Happy New Year 2011 to all readers.. i guess its not too late.

I don't want to think much about life. All i want to do is concerntrate on living in the moment. Follow God's wisdom. The wisdoms give me peaceful in mind. God saved me.. i believe..

Endure what you suffer as being a father's punishment, your suffering shows that God is treating you as his children. Was there ever a child who was not punished by his father? Hebrew 12:7

I've been punished enough. I'm glad to accpt the punishment (the suffering).. I know its not over yet.

You don't even know what your life tomorrow will be. You are like a puff of smoke, which appears for a moment & then disappears. James 4:14

Honestly, i'm taking my own risk. Who cares.

Don't pay back evil with evil or cursing with cursing, instead payback with a blessing, because a blessing is what God promised to give you when he called you. 1 Peter 3:9

Let it be what people say.. Bare in mind, do what you think the best for yourself..

If you believe , you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer. Mathew 21:22

Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your mind. Mathew 22:37

Peace to all who reads.. May God keeps you blessed..

A Peace in My heart

** What a priceless commodity is the peace that results from judging rightly the influences that invade our lives**

Sometimes, things are beyond our right or ability to control. I my self, used to weep down.. and wish an Angel to carry me up.. Fly through the clouds.. and see the world from above.. What an imagination.. But, what i can't take back.. i have to let go.. Keep a hope that a light to come..

Psalm 119:105 Your word is a lamp to guide me and a light for my path..

Exactly.. keep on believing in Lord father and Lord Jesus Christ..

Psalm 119:107 My sufferings, Lord are terrible indeed. Keep me alive as you have promised.

I indeed believe in Lord God Father, the Son and Holy spirit.. A suffered mind.. only can be heal by trust in God. I want to have a peace in mind.. Whatever things happen, it is for a reason.. The reason that we might don't understand.. but trusting to God's plan.. we actually hunting for our needs.. NOT what we want..

John 14:17 He is the spirit, who reveals the truth about God. The world cannot received him because it cannot see him or know him. But you know him because he remains with you & is in you

There's a terrible things happen to me.. eversince that day, i put my trust & whole life to trust God. I pray hard for my best achievement in life.. I know, people around me .. friends .. always misjudging what I'm doing. I'm doing my part to live peace..

Romans 12:18 Do everything possible on your part to live peace with everybody..

That is not easy. Sometimes, people do think differently on your acts..

1 John 3:7 Let no one deceive you, my children! Whoever does what is right is righteous, Just as Christ is righteous..

Oh well.. sometimes i admit. I did make mistakes.. But, what i do.. i always ask permission from God to guide me..

1 John 3:8 Whoever continues to sin belongs to the devil, because devil has sinned from the very beginning. The son of God appeared for this very reason, to destroy what devil has done..

Have peace in mind and God bless you all for reading..

Soup for Soul..

It was quite sometimes. I have alot of story to tell. I need to filter some so that it suitable to read by all..

Year 2010 will ends very soon. Just left about a month to go before 2011. This year 2010, i guess not a good year for me.. I think it is the worst in my life. But i've learned so much thing throughout the year. I've been put into so much test, temptations & suffering. Beside all, i don't regret because God had put afforts on me.. and never give up on me. I might lost my mind, triggered my hope, out reached of faith.. It was a great lesson. And I thank God for all.

Standing alone.. I never hope for a hand.. Yes, i moved on with hope and faith. I don't care what other people would say about me.. Sometimes, i thought i was right but i never admitted i'm doing alrite all the time. I m a human beings and still i made mistakes. Oh well, who says i'm not afraid. Everyone will if they are in my shoe. But I ALWAYS REMEMBER, I'M NOT STANDING ALONE.

Trust.. I always wish that i could trust again. Sometimes, being hypocrite is safe. But, what if the lies keep you far away.. Its like you go to the beach playing on the shore. You will see the blue ocean ahead & without realised that you follow the sun and till the mid of the ocean you are drowned.. Will be there someone to save you?.. Or you save yourself out.. THEN, KEEP YOUR FAITH.. YOU WILL BE SAVED..

Growing up.. As years passed by, i've gone through lots of memories. Good to remember and Bad to remind.. Keywords, grow up with mind. Never think that you'll be the same all the time. Change mindset if you think it doesn't work on you. GROW UP!!..

Strength.. I never thought I was strong to shoulder many things. I keep pray to God, i'm in good health to take care of myself & my kids. Yes, day by day.. It makes me stronger than ever. But remember, never think than a strong rock will not crack at a time. BE WARE OF THE DARKNESS..

Finding Yourself Loved..

It was quite a while since my last blog. I just don't know how to start a new. It seems so blurred, my mind was blank but there is something I want to voice out.

I've been writing. I can't stop writing. I don't talk much but i expressed my feelings through writing I feel released out. All inside me.. That is what i've told a fren.. We just write to each other & never meet in reality nor even a voice to hear. But the feelings that we had towards each others were strong. We build up a friendship.. through our deep inflection. We both having deep scars in our life. The stories that we shared, almost the same. It is not easy to build back the love that we lost by infidelity. The scars are too deep to recover.

I've not fully recovered from my misery. Not the matter of love, but its because of the trust. I just couldn't understand why. I keep on asking my self and i couldn't get the exact answer. The only thing in my mind is, this is my fate. Can i just rely on destiny?.. Yes, i 've tried and tried to forget everything. To start a new life doesn't easy at all. Life is not fair.

God is not unfair. He will not forget the work you did or the love you showed for him in the help you gave and are still giving to others.. Only God and me know what I've done. If I had sinned, i ask forgiveness from God. I also want to apologise to anyone for all my mistakes and i had forgiven those who make the same to me.

For some consequences, we just can't accept the facts that we are hurt so much. No matter how much afford we strive, it just doesn't work anyway. The only way, we make our move to different direction and we have to find ourselves. That is what i am doing. Finding myself loved. No matter how love it will takes, I will keep on striving on my own searching for myself loved.

To all, find ourself loved and from there we move on..

LIFE IS NOT EASY

I feel very refreshing when i see the mist in the morning, hang on the flowers, or trees. How wonderful it was so cool. Let me refresh my mind with a thought.. life is a direction where we have to put everything eg dreams, hopes, struggles, strength and patiences to pursue a happiness. That's why we always heard people says LIFE IS NOT EASY.. there's always up & down..







What life means to individual? Well, i have my own perception on life base on what i have been through. This photo was taken abt 13 years ago. All the smiles and we all been so happy for the moment. Amazingly, all my friends with different races could carry the tradisional dance. I really couldnt forget that moment.





Happiness can't hold on when love started to fade away. I keep on asking what i've done wrong. What my kids done wrong?. Aren't they wonderful? Aren't they deserve a happy life? Where's the heart? All our smiles, there's a pain inside. No one knows the tears we had shared. I still continue my journey in life. There's so much rock been carried on our shoulder. It was so heavy but with my strength wanted to see my kids happy, i still go on. I have promised them a happiness. Maybe not in a short term but there will be a light for us. I hope we can hold on with God's bless..

Believe in God.. I believe everythings happened with a reason and always walking in the light will give me the spirit of strength and patient i needed. God bless..

DREAM

Everyone has a dream. I have a dream. My dream is to be happy in all aspect in life and be somebody in my own self. Sometimes, I do feel I am lost direction. When I sit down and look around me. There's an emptiness. What is the emptiness??.. Most of the time, my little Emma will slap my face and wake me up. Everytime she kinda remind me.. Mummy, i m your happiness. Then i will smile at her. Hug & kiss her.. She hates i kiss her lips. But she's so adorable kid. She's a smart girl, i can say that. Just a 3 yrs old. Ask her to sing, she can sings so many songs that i myself don't memorize the lyric. But amazingly she can.

This moth was the biggest butterfly i ever seen. I don't know what its specific name. But I remember a friend commented .. butterfly, my butterfly.. wait for me don't fly away.. its a part of a song. Can i say, my happiness, oh happines.. don't go away?.. Can i just dream to be happy?.. Can i make my dream to be reality?.. Nothing is impossible.. It is just somewhere and to reach the way, we just have to find the reality of that DREAM. Not just let it fade away..