Forgiveness

Forgiveness is good for the soul, yes but forgiveness also cannot be forced. We cannot will oursleves to forgive, because if we try to deny the anger, blame and judgement that may still be there, it is likely to come out at some point. So how do we reach forgiveness?

To forgive others is the natural outcome of forgiving ourselves and taking loving care of ourselves. When we judge ourselves, we will have a tenancy to assign that judgement onto others, no matter how much we tell ourselves that we have forgiven them.

"How can i forgive my parents when they were so abusive to me when i was growing up?"

If you continue to treat yourself in the abusive ways your parents may treated you, you cannot reach forgivess. It is your lack of self -care that perpetuates the anger toward others. As we grow older, we each have a great opportunity to learn to treat ourselves with the love, respect, caring and understanding that we have lacked as children. When we don't grab this, all the past turn to presents as we keep continuing the same basic and will blame others for how we end up feeling because we lack of self-care.

"How can i forgive my spouse for cheating on me?"

You may hardly forgive a spouse until you fully take responsibility for your participation in the relationship issues that may have contributed to the unfaithfulness. There are always ways you did not listen to yourself or honor yourself that put you in the position of being betrayed. As you look deeply within and discover how you might have betrayed yourself and learn to forgive yourself, you may reach forgiveness for your spouse, even if you end up leaving the relationship. Choose the best way to your own happiness instead of others.

"How can i forgive my best friend for abandoning me?"

The world apts to reflect to us whatever happening in our own inner system. When we feel abandoned by someone, we actually possibly abandoned our own. We failed to concern our own feelings, needs and advocate love for ourselves. If you learn how to take loving care of yourself, you will find your anger toward others gradually dissapearing.

"How can I forgive myself when others do not forgive me and throw my past in my face every chance they get?"

You can't wait for others to forgive us as this will lead you stuck in anger and judgement because forgiveness has nothing to do with your own decision to judge or forgive yourself. When you learn to move out of judgement and into compassion, to yourself then to others, you will find yourself forgiving yourself and others. Forgiveness is the natural outgrowth of compassion.